HOW IT BEGAN

In the spring of 2022, the writer, podcaster and teacher Meghan Daum led a group of ten women into the California high desert for three days of brainstorming about an exciting new project. In a series of candid, intense, deeply informed, and often emotional discussions, they wrestled with some of the most vexing and complicated issues of our times: the chaos of COVID policies, the new gender ideology, the state of the #MeToo movement, gun rights, reproductive rights, the ideological capture of fine arts and culture, and much more. These women, who were of different ages and came from a variety of backgrounds and regions, couldn’t believe how much they’d been craving honest conversation. It was a life-changing experience.

It was also the start of The Unspeakeasy.

The Unspeakeasy, sometimes called a “women’s shelter for the politically homeless,” is a community for free-thinking women who crave honest conversations about subjects that don’t come with easy solutions. Designed in the spirit of a Prohibition-era speakeasy, it's an underground world full of intellectual curiosity, good-faith debate and real humor.

WHY IS IT ONLY FOR WOMEN?

Because women don’t speak up often enough.

In recent years, Meghan has heard from countles people who tell her they feel like they’re going crazy. They say that ideological polarization makes them feel like they can no longer be themselves around friends and family members with whom they once felt perfectly aligned. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Meghan noticed that the effects of this alienation were especially pronounced for women, who are often more sensitive to the social penalties that come from speaking up. As a result, they often stay silent. From there ensues loneliness, self-doubt, and a disconnection from the authentic self.

WHAT’S HAPPENING NEXT?

The Unspeakeasy’s online community is up and is growing everyday. Through mostly word of mouth, it has grown to approximately 450 members from countries ranging from the U.S. and Canada to India, Australia, and the U.K. The community offers subject-specific discussion forums, guest lectures, writing groups, book clubs, opportunities to organize local in-person meetups, and more. It is a private, secured space and all conversations are off-the-record.

The Unspeakeasy’s flagship offering is the so-called “sanity spa retreat.” Since the fall of 2022, retreats have taken place in Vermont, New York, Los Angeles, Austin, Minneapolis, Seattle, Denver, Louisville, Chicago, Washington’s Cascade Mountains, and Pennsylvania’s Pocono Mountains. Five more are planned for 2025.

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Our Values

What is The Unspeakeasy all about? Will I fit in?

It’s natural to have these questions when you’re considering going on a retreat or joining us online.

We are a diverse group of women, and there is no particular “type of person” who joins the community. But we all share values that encourage open dialogue, intellectual honesty, nuance and mutual respect. These values guide how we interact with each other and shape the discussions that make our community unique.

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THE UNSPEAKEASY VALUES

NUANCE

Things are rarely ever black and white, and we love to explore all the gray areas in The Unspeakeasy.
GOOD FAITH

We always strive to engage in good faith. This means that we assume people are making their arguments with good intentions and we respond with good intentions ourselves.
CURIOSITY & OPEN INQUIRY

What makes The Unspeakeasy great is that it is filled with women who value critical thinking and know that almost nothing is as simple as "good versus bad." We know that many things can be true at once. Above all, our members like to ask questions — especially when no one else is.
AGREEING TO DISAGREE

Not everyone in The Unspeakeasy agrees on everything, and that's what makes it great. When we disagree, we can view it as a disagreement without viewing the other person as a monster.
HUMILITY

In our community, there is no shame in admitting you might be wrong or don't have all the answers. We encourage our members to engage in discussions with a willingness to change their minds. We also honor personal experiences and make room for emotional responses while trying our best to separate emotion from fact. (And recognizing that this is not always possible.)
FREEDOM OF SPEECH

We're committed to protecting our members' freedom of speech to articulate their ideas, opinions, and sincerely held beliefs without fear of retaliation or censorship. At times, community members will say things that others disagree with — and may even find distasteful — but we believe this freedom of speech helps us develop a better synthesis of ideas.
PRIVACY

What happens in the community, stays in the community. Many of the women in this group find themselves here because they want to be open and vulnerable with their ideas. We respect each other's privacy, don't share personally identifying details with anyone outside the community, and under no circumstances share screenshots or recordings of in-house events. Any member who violates this policy is subject to immediate removal.
MUTUAL RESPECT

Not everyone will agree on everything in The Unspeakeasy, but we choose to respect everyone regardless of their life experiences, political or religious beliefs, opinions, race, age, profession, education, who they vote for or what media they consume.
WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

It happens to the best of us.